Why Did I sign up for This Thing?
Gad, I'm not
use to getting up this early but Al and I are headed out to toss some Bean Bags
at the casino this morning. Yeah they have a contest going. It's free and a
chance to win from $750 for 5th place all the way up to $5,000 for 1st place.
Al is a pro when it comes to tossing
bean bags. We even had a practice session out in his back yard the other day. I
hope I can hold up my part. We'll let you know what happens when we get back
(Later that
Night)
I got to the
casino a half an hour before Al. When I
walked into the room where they were going to have the tournament, I saw them
measuring the distance between the Cornhole boxes. I was surprised when I saw
that they looked exactly like the ones Al has in his back yard. I waited around
and then some of the guys started practicing. WOW, these guys were TOO GOOD!!! I saw this one guy get 6 of the bean bags in
the hole one right after the other. WTF have I got myself into. While waiting I
overheard that these guys were pros. They were coming in from all over the
country. Right then and there I knew we didn’t stand a chance in hell of
winning any kind of money.
They finally
started signing up the people. When I saw Al walk in, I told him about how I
saw this guy get 6 bean bags in the hole. He laughed. Al signed up and then we
stood there watching the guys toss. We had time to practice so Al and I got on
either end of the boxes and started tossing the bean bags. Well I couldn’t even
toss them to the box which was 33 feet away. I looked around and saw a few
girls practicing and thought to myself, “The only way we’re going to have a
chance to win is if the other team are girls.” Don’t get me wrong Al is good.
It was me that I am talking about.
When the
tournament began they called off who was going to play with whom. The other
team were two girls. “ALRIGHT,” I thought to myself. At least we have a chance
to win this first round. I sucked as usually. Even the girls were better than I
was but Al was the one who won it for our side. We beat them.
Then we
waited around for the next match. This time we were up against to guys who
looked like they knew what they were doing. The match started and the guy
standing next to me got most of them in the hole or at least on the deck. I
watched the way he would toss so I tried to imitate him. I still looked like a moron
tossing. Al was doing good but these guys were tossing like world series good. It
didn’t take long and the match was over.
Matt Guy
5 Times World Champion
We sat down waiting to play in the loser’s tournament. The one guy that was
standing next to me at that last match was sitting next to me. Al said, “I here
that there is a guy that is a 5 times world Champion here.” The guy smiled at
us and said, “That’s me.” Both Al and I started laughing hysterically. We had
no idea that we were playing against 5 times world Cornwhole Champion Matt Guy. “Now I
don’t feel so Bad,” I told him. At least Al and I lost to the best of the best. But I wished that I would have done
better than I did. I still couldn’t toss the bags far enough to reach the box.
I’m getting old I guess.
Then they
announced that we were to start playing on box number 7 which was right where
we were sitting. I began to toss and still no good. The 5 times champion got up
and came over to me and gave me some tips on how to toss the bags. It seemed to
help because I was getting them to the box anyway. Only 1 of them went in
though. In the end we lost and that was that. Al had fun. He enjoyed himself.
Me, I just wanted to go play some craps. At least I knew how to do that. Al and
I said goodbye and went home and I went into the casino.
