Roses, Roses and more Roses

  My Friend called me up and asked if I wanted to come over to practice tossing the dice on his craps table. I said, “Sure.” I was trying out different things but after a while I started to get tired. I had already spent the morning at Cardiac Rehab exercising for an hour and a half so we took a break. “Let’s go make you up a bouquet. He has this Fantastic garden. He loves growing Roses. So we went on his back porch where he had already picked some of his roses and started putting them in a couple of vases. He had done this for me last year and it made my whole apartment smell Great!

  I had my camera with me so he took me on a tour of his garden to show me all the different varieties he has. I don’t remember the names of them but each one had a different smell.

  Before I came to the Roses I saw his Lilies. They smelled Awesome.

   I began snapping pictures as I went along walking through his garden. Here are some of the pictures I took.
 

  He had other kinds of flowers growing. These purple flowers were growing on a vine next to his house.

   This is one of many Lilly bushes he has in his yard.
 

    The inside of a Lilly.

      And More Roses

  This butterfly loved whatever kind of flower this was. He didn’t even flinch when I took his picture. 

 These are really cool looking.

   After we were though walking around his garden, I took the bouquet of flowers and left. I had to pay some bills since it is the first of the month. I thanked him and drove off. I had places to go but I didn’t know where to put the vase of Roses he gave me. I thought about it and came up with a great Idea. You can make your car smell like you’re in Heaven.  I have a cup holder on my dash. It sits right in front of the vents. I was lucky enough that the small vase just fit in the cup holder perfectly. I turned on the air and the whole car filled up with the scent of Roses. Try it if you can. It put me in a great mood.

Please Remove Your Clothes

Back in the early 1980’s my wife and I went over to visit my Dad who was living alone in an apartment. He was an alcoholic who no longer drank. He was the type of guy who liked to have fun though. Someone had given me a pack of marijuana seeds and I knew that my dad was into growing plants and stuff like that. So we brought them over plus we had some marijuana with us too. I told my dad what we had and he wanted to know what it felt like to get high from it. He said, “At least I wouldn’t be drinking,” and we all laughed. While we were smoking the stuff, my father told us, “The one thing I never got to do was to go to a nudist camp.” I said, “Dad, we were just talking about the nudist camps recently.” He never knew where they were. So I told him, “I have a list of all the nudist camps around the area, I’ll send them to you,” which I did. He was excited about going. I asked him a year later about it but he told me that he never did get around to going to one. We told my Dad that we wanted to go too but my wife and I never did go either. That was the last time I smoked any marijuana but I sure got to know Dad a lot better.

May 26^th 2015

 I thought about that story today. Even though I’m 69 and single now, I still feel like I’m in my 20’s. I still want to go to one to see what it would be like to walk around outside all day in the nude. I think that would be so cool.  So I put that on my Bucket list of things I always wanted to do. My Dad died 8 years later of cancer and I don’t want to be like my Dad and never experience it. I have done a lot of crazy things but I never got to go to a nudist camp. I really want to go. So I got on the computer and found Sun Ray Hills Nudist Camp in Burlington Wisconsin which is about an hour and a half away. I sent an email to Sun Ray Hills nudist camp in Burlington Wisconsin and asked how I could go about visiting their nudist camp for a day. 

 I just sent my email so I will have to wait for their reply. I am so looking forward to going.  I thought I would spend one warm day walking naked through the trails in the woods they have and then afterwards, I had planned on driving over to the casino and play.  What a fun day this is going to be. I emailed them to ask how I go about coming there.  I said in my email; 

 “This will be my first time. I am a 69 year old single male. It is on my bucket list of things that I always wanted to do. How and where do I sign up? I am looking forward to pleasant time.” 

 The nudist Camp emailed me back and said; “I suggest a weekend visit, unfortunately our pool is in need of repairs. Hoping to have it up and running in a few weeks. We have an office at the gate, ring the bell and stop in. We hope to see you soon!” (That was on May 26^th.)

June 5^th 2015

  I am so excited about going. It's different and something new. I told some of my friends and they are all happy for me that I am full filling one of my things on my Bucket list. They want me to tell them all about it when I get back. I told my daughter that I was going to a nudist camp when I talked on the phone with her yesterday. I told her about my Bucket list. “It’s something I always wanted to do,” I told her.  “There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said giggling.  “Have fun at your nudist camp,” she told me. We laughed. “I will,” I said.

June 6th 2015

   Well I am waiting for them to open the pool before I go. I plan on going on a warm sunny summer day. As long as I don’t get cold I think I am going to enjoy this. I might even go more than once.

June 11th 2015

I Am Getting Ready To Go To the Nudist Camp

Yea!!! I got a notice that the pool at the nudist camp is finally open. I can go anytime I want too now. I wish I could go today but it’s cool out. I have been looking at the weather forecast on the internet to find out what days will be warm enough. I don’t want to freeze while I am walking around naked all day. So far it looks good for the Father’s Day weekend. That will be next weekend.

Well I just found out that they are having a 5k run through the woods on the Nudist Camp on June 20th, 2015. So I signed up for it. What a blast this is going to be. I am walking the course though. I am not going to wear myself out. I just want to have fun and enjoy walking in the nude through the trails in the forest. 

June 13^th 2015

I’ll tell you what’s going on Saturday. I am going to the Sun Ray Hills nudist camp this coming Saturday. I found out that they are going to have a “Mud Sweat & Boobs 5K Naked Run” (3 miles) through the trails in the forest on their property. So I paid $55 and signed up for it. All the proceeds will go towards Beast Cancer and Testicular Cancer. They said that you can run it or walk it or anywhere in-between, so I decided that I am just going to walk it. 

  Join us for the 2nd annual "Mud, Sweat, and Boobs Adventure Run" on June 20th and help us raise money and spread awareness for Breast and Testicular cancer. This one-of-a-kind 5k event is truly an adventure run.  For starters it’s clothing-optional. Secondly, it’s wicked fun as you trek in the buff (or not) through the nearly 200 acre wooded property of Sun Ray Hills, striding up and down hills and negotiating a few challenging, as well as not so challenging (but fun) obstacles that include:

Tires obstacle

Foam Pit

Hay bales

Balance beam

Over under stations

Mud crawl

Rope ladder

Rope swing

Color pit

Tires

Beer station

and the awesome giant slip and slide

It will be 85 degrees that day and I don’t want to get worn out. I want to enjoy my walk through the forest. They said that 200 people have already signed up for this 5K run. I am looking forward to it. It should be a blast.

June 20^th 2015

When the alarm went off this morning, I thought to myself, "What Have I Gotten Myself into." Naturally I was still tired and wanted to go back to sleep. "I'd rather go to the casino. I hope I am not going to get cold wandering around all day naked. Those were just some of the thoughts that went through my mind as I got my orange Juice out of the refrigerator.

 When I got there they made us park in this field. I know I am in a nudist camp but the first person I see is this guy walking through the field in the nude towards the sign in station. I got out of my car and followed him. You could get undressed anywhere you wanted, it didn’t make any difference. But I went into the bathroom. When I came out I could feel the cool air blowing all over my body. It wasn’t 85 degrees like they said it would be. It was cloudy and in the upper 60’s. 

 The sign in station was right next to the bar. Too bad I don’t drink or I would have asked for something. I came here to enjoy myself and that’s just what I did. At 10am they started the 5K run in groups. I was in the 8^th group so I was pretty much alone. I walked through a field where they had some obstacles. I chose to walk around them. I knew I had three miles to go. The path wound around until I was back on the road. I walked up this hill where the girls sprayed me with this pink powder. The slip and slid was at the top. It was a long way down to the street below but I gave it my best and ran onto the plastic. I hit my head as I landed and slid a long way down. That thing was fast. I got up with a headache. Now I was naked, pink and wet. The sun started to come out and I got warmer. A few feet up the road this girl gave me a bottle of water and told me to enter the forest and follow the trails. This was the best part of the whole 5K Naked Run thing. I have always loved walking in the woods ever since I was a kid but now I was doing it totally naked. It was the Coolest thing that I have ever done. I loved it. I took my time and enjoyed the forest. I followed the trails for over 2 miles. It was just AWESOME. The sun was still peeking out and I felt fantastic. 

  When the 5K run/walk was over they served food at the outside bar. They had a band playing. The only thing was, it got cloudy again and a breeze picked up. I wanted to see what the pool was like before I left so I headed over to where they had it. It was really nice. I went and took a hot shower to get that pink stuff off of me and then I went into the pool. It reminded me of when my Mom sent my cousin and me to the YMCA when we were about 10 years old. They made the boys swim naked back then. That’s just the way it was. 

  The water was kind of cool but not bad. It felt great not having to wear a bathing suit. I went deeper and then went all the way under. I heard a crackling sound under water. “Damn, I forgot to take my hearing aids off." I hurried out of the pool to dry them off. Luckily they were OK but with the breeze blowing on my wet body, I was freezing. That was it for me. I went back to the bar area and sat down. I hoped I would warm up again but I didn’t. It was 1:30 in the afternoon and I had the best time in my life today.  The next time I came back, I am going to make sure the sun is out and warm. Oh yeah, I will be back. I love this place.

 On my way home I stopped at the Casino to make some money. When I walked in both craps tables were at $10. One table was empty and the other only had two people at it. I got my spot at SL1 and bought in. I wasn’t about to play big but that turned out to be a big mistake. On my first roll I had a 19 roll hand. Out of that I rolled 7-8’s, 4-6’s, 2-5’s and 2-9’s. The next guy had an even longer hand. I got my lay bet on the 4 knocked off. On my 2^nd roll I made a $1. I was still on the Don’ts. On my 3^rd and last hand, I had a $10 Don’t on the 4 with a $20 lay. I also placed the 6 and 8 for $12. I took two hits on the 6 and 8 and took them down. The next roll was the 7 and I collected another $20 on that.

  By this time I was so worn out from running at the nudist camp that I just had to go home and take a nap. I ended up +$44 for the day

I Can Do This

I Can Do This 

Back in 1963 I was 17 when my mom died. So I went down to stay with my grandparents in Florida for a few months. 

One day I was sitting at the kitchen table with my grandfather (Victor Kaufman). He was telling me about when he worked around the Blast Furnace in the steel mills in Chicago. It was hard hot dangerous work. One day his boss came up to him and asked him if he could run the overhead crane. My grandfather said he didn’t hesitate and told his boss, “Sure I can.” Then my grandfather leaned over to me smiling and said, “I didn’t have the slightest idea how to operate it but it paid more and I got to sit down away from the hot furnace. I figured how to run the crane on my own. When an opportunity comes along you can’t be afraid to go for it. 

Being a dumb teenager at the time, his story didn’t sink in at first. Not until I got into the Navy right after I left my grandparents. When they put me on the flight deck of my aircraft carrier with all the jet aircraft around, I said, “I can do that. I didn’t want to work below decks for the next 3 years. You never get to see daylight down below. I wanted to work out in the open and see the sun and have the sea breeze blowing in my face. But I have to tell you I was scared to death when I saw how dangerous it was. I was so scared the first month that every time I went up there I almost peed in my pants. I even made sure I went to the bathroom before I went up on the flight deck but it didn’t make any difference. The phrase, “It scared the piss out of me,” was so true. But I could hear my grandfather's voice saying “I can do this.”    


William Kaufman

One of Those Moments

                                   One of Those Moments

I happened to look up as I got out of my car and saw the clouds passing by against the blue sky. All of a sudden I had this flash back and remembered how we as kids used to lay down in the grass and look up at the clouds, trying to find shapes of things, like a face of something or maybe a seahorse. It was relaxing and we laughed at some of the silly things we saw in the clouds. I think I will put that on my list of things I want to do this summer.

Today I Celebrate

 

Today I Celebrate

 

It was 20 years ago today that I walked out of Arby’s Roast Beef and climbed into my old Chevy station wagon. When I turned the key the engine turned over but it wouldn’t start so I turned the key to the off position. I don’t know what happened but the engine kept turning over. I couldn’t stop it. Suddenly smoke started coming out from under the hood. “DAMN.” I said to myself. “What am I going to do?” I was really scared that my car was going to catch on fire. I opened my hood and unhooked the battery. Thank goodness that stopped the engine from cranking over. I was so uptight that I felt like I had gas pains in my chest. I thought it was from the roast beef sandwich I had just eaten and all the anxiety. 

 I waited a while and then hooked the battery backup. This time the car started and I headed off to Walmart to get a few things. When I walked in, I didn’t feel right. I was out of breath and felt like I was having a panic attack. I had a history of panic attacks so I decided that I better go home. When I laid down on the couch I thought it would go away but it didn’t. The worse it got the more panicky I got. I was scared so I called the emergency room and talked to a nurse. She told me to call an ambulance. When they got there, they hooked some wires up to my chest and told me that they were going to take me to the hospital. On the way to the hospital the guy in the ambulance said, “Are you still with us,” he asked me. I told him, “Yeah.”

 In the emergency room my doctor showed up within a few minutes. He said, “Your body is trying to have a Heart Attack.” I told him, “I want you to let me know everything that is going on. Otherwise I’ll be even more scared than I am now. If I am going to die I want you to tell me.” My doctor knew I was serious about my request and he said, “I will let you know everything.” I felt better when he said that. I guess I am the type that has to know what’s happening at all times. The Doctor put a Nitro Glycerin patch on my arm. I told him that I didn’t want it but he said, “Yes you are going to wear it.”

 After some tests they took me up to ICU (intensive care unit). I called my sister and told her what was going on. When I was hanging up the phone all of a sudden I got the most intense pain in my chest. I was having the Big One. Talking to my sister had nothing to do with me having the big heart attack, I just want to make that clear because I would have had it whether I talked to her or not. The nurse was there and I told her, “I think I am going to die.” I don’t know how other people feel when they have heart attacks but I knew that I was dying. The nurse seemed calm about everything but before I knew it they had moved me into ICCU (Intensive Cardiac-Care Unit).  Instead of having a Nitro Glycerin patch, they had the Nitro Glycerin going into me intravenously.

  Sometime later they wheeled me into the operating room to put a catheter up into my heart so they could see what was going on. On the way in I started to get sick to my stomach. I told the doctor and they got me something I could get sick in. The doctor said, “That’s the Heart Attack.” When I was done they put the catheter in my leg and fed it up into my heart. I was awake so I could hear what they were saying. They found the blocked arteries and tried to put a stint in it to open my artery up. But when they tried it wouldn’t go any further. Every time they tried I could feel my heart skip a beat or stop for a second. That scared me. “Your arteries are 90% blocked with calcium and we can’t get the stent in. We are going to have to open you up,” The doctors told me. “Then do it,” I told him. I wasn’t scared of the operation at that time because I knew that was the only way I was going to get out of this alive. 

 The doctor put a balloon next to my heart. The balloon on the end of the catheter inflates and deflates with the rhythm of your heart. This helps your heart pump blood to the body. As soon as the balloon started to help my heart pump blood though out me, I felt much better. They left that in me for a couple of days so that my heart could rest. That’s what they told me anyway. 

 The day of my Heart Bypass I laid on this gurney in some white tiled room looking up at the ceiling. As I laid there I knew that I wasn’t going to make it. That’s just the way I felt. I thought of my two children who were not there because they lived in another state with their Mom. “I’ll never see my kids again,” I thought to myself. “Then I clearly remember saying to myself calmly, “I wonder what it’s going to be like being dead.” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said there are 5 stages of dying. 

   1. Denial

   2. Anger

   3. Bargaining

   4. Depression

   5. Acceptance

http://www.ekrfoundation.org/five-stages-of-grief/ 

I was going through stages 4 and 5 as I laid waiting for them to take me. I heard someone come up behind me and say, “OK, I’m going to put you to sleep.” I knew I would never wake up again.

 No sense of time had passed although I found out later from my aunt that they had kept me under for 36 hours. I don’t how long the operation took but someone told me they were having trouble with my blood pressure.

 When I opened my eyes, I felt weak and scared. I didn’t expect to wake up and now I was upset because I felt like I was going to die all over again. I didn’t want to go through that again. I laid there expecting my heart to stop at any moment.  I felt the time start to pass again now that I was awake. The more time that went by the better I felt that I was going to make it. I stayed in the hospital for 10 days. I was still weak when it was time to go back to my apartment. There was nobody to take me back to my apartment so the hospital called a cab and the cabbie guy helped me up into my apartment.

 The next day I woke up and went to take my medicine. The only thing was, I could not open the bottle because they had sawed my chest apart during surgery. I was all alone and scared. I called Schaumburg Township and the girl that answered at the disability office came right over and helped me with my medicine and anything else I needed.

 After my chest healed together they started me exercising at Cardiac Rehab. At first I could only do 5 minutes on the bicycle. I was still so weak that I couldn’t get off of it. So I sat there until I had enough strength to stand up.

I really wanted to stay alive. I was feeling better. So I kept going to my Cardiac Rehab class. It took about a year and a half before I felt normal again. I still go 3 times a week to Cardiac Rehab. 

  And TODAY marks the 20^th year since my heart attack. If you would have told me that I would be celebrating my 20th year when I first got out of the hospital, I would have told you you’re nuts. I will be 70 in August. I have a friend the same age and we said that we are going to live to be 100. 


Today when I walked into Cardiac Rehab, there was no celebration or party. It was just another day. But in my heart I was celebrating. I sat down at the table before I began and the guy next to me said, “You’re smiling. You must be happy about something.” I didn’t realize it showed. Then I went on to explain why. He smiled back at me and gave me the thumbs up. After Rehab, I went down to my Cardiologist and gave him a Thank You note for taking care of me and getting me this far. Down the hall was the chapel. I stopped in and said, “Thank You.” I knew my Mom was there too watching over me

 I wrote this back on Sept 1995

Dreams About My Mom

I finally went to the video store and rented the movie "For One More Day." I have wanted to see it for a long time.

When Chick Benetto first sees his mother standing at the other side of the baseball diamond behind the fence, I got the chills. It was like the dream I had about my own Mom back in Nov of 1994, 4 months before I had a heart attack. In my dream.........

I started having series of dreams about my mom who died on June 3rd 1963. As time went on, these dreams started getting closer and closer together. This dream was progressing. I was getting closer to my Mother each time. I wanted to keep track of this dream to see where it was going. So I started putting it down on tape. At first, I only saw her on the other side of a river. I was going crazy because I couldn't get over there and I couldn't get her to answer me. She just looks at me and walks away without saying a word. Then the dream progresses where I get on the other side of the river but she doesn't say anything. In another dream, I get to talk to her and I say, "Where have you been. Where do you live?" And she says, “You can’t come with me," and that's the end of the dream. The next dream I saw her out in the open someplace and I got to tell her how much I loved her but I didn't get to kiss her or hug her or anything. I just got to tell her how much I miss her and Love her. As this dream kept getting closer and closer together, in the next dream, I was in the hospital and I was REALLY sick. And Mom came to my room. I was so sick I couldn't talk to her. She was talking to me but I can't remember what she said.  For some reason, all of a sudden I was better and somehow I automatically knew where she lived now. In the next dream I went to were my mom lived. It was some kind of monastery. I snuck in the back door and found her room. But she wasn't there. Her room had two beds. The one closest to the door was empty. It was chilly in her room and I found a furnace where the window should be and I turned up the heat. I looked around the room and decided to leave when this woman passing by looked at me. I thought, "Oh I got caught" and she kept going. I said, "Man, am I going to get in trouble now." "Well I'm caught now. I might as well go out the back door. When I got to the back door, the woman said, "Somebody has been in her room the last two Wednesdays." I said, "Yeah, that was me" The woman said, "Well, how is your mother?" I said, "I don't know, I haven't seen her." She said, "Just wait here a minute. Each case is so interesting. I want to hear everything about you.” And that was the end of the dream. This was some kind of holy place and the woman in my dream seemed to be a nun, but she didn't dress like one.

Four months after I started this recording in Nov of 1994, I had a heart attack and by-pass surgery. I really didn't think I was going to make it. I almost REALLY did get to be with my mom forever.

I had one more dream on Sept 6th 1995, six months after my heart attack. I was in the hospital and I thought I was all alone. But I realized that my mom had been sitting in the chair next to my bed the whole time I was in the hospital, watching over me while I was going through my heart attack. I finally got to hug and kiss her. It felt Sooooo real to me.

I have not dreamt of my mom since. But I know in my heart she was really there, watching over me.

Netanyahu Speaks to Congress

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's Speaks to Congress

A Bunch of Anniversaries

A Bunch of Anniversaries

2015

Next Month this March will be my 20^th anniversary of my Heart Attack. It’s a miracle that I have survived that long. Most of my success comes from having Great Doctors, taking care of myself, eating right and going to Cardiac Rehab 3 times a week to exercise. On May 23^rd it will be 20 years that I have been going to Cardiac Rehab. 

   On the back of my Cardiac Rehab T-shirt it reads “You've Got to Move to Improve.”

   Well that may not happen anymore. You see my 1998 Chevy Lumina broke down for good. I have no way to get around anymore like I use too. I always kept myself busy doing something.

   I turn 70 years old on August 5^th this year 2015. That’s another Anniversary and it’s going to be a biggie for me. I don’t want to spend the rest of the time I have left stuck in this 1 bedroom apartment without having a way to get around. That reminds me, I have another Anniversary.

  This March, I will have lived here in the same 1 bedroom apt for 30 years. I suppose I should be happy that I had a place to live all these years and I do but sometimes I feel like it has been a prison. I’m getting depressed thinking that I’ll be spending the rest of my life without a car to get around, sitting in this one bedroom apartment. I just can’t let that happen.